


Bad Hair Day doesn't cover it

by PhoenixDown (SekseeDragoness)



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Bad Boyfriends, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Don't copy to another site, Multi, Poor Sephy, Seph Needs more shampoo, Toilet humor, bad hair day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SekseeDragoness/pseuds/PhoenixDown
Summary: I really have no excuse for this other than I sat on the toilet one morning and noticed my hair had gotten long enough to brush the top of my arse, so I swept it over my shoulder, just in case.And that made me think of Seph's long hair in the worst possible way! XD





	Bad Hair Day doesn't cover it

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty sure this is a reupload. I took down a heap of stuff when going through a depressive spell years ago.
> 
> This was from 2011 and was beta'd by the sweet and always awesome Remmy (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remembrance).

It had been a fun night for the First Class SOLDIERs and their Second Class puppy. It had been a long time since they had last had a chance to really go out and have fun. They were all in need of it.

The night had involved enough strong alcohol to keep a platoon of soldiers plastered for a month straight, much raucous laughter, a strip show (provided by Genesis), followed by a fumbling dash back to Seph's room (because he had the biggest bed) and then a round or two of loud, rough, satisfying group sex... And that was BEFORE they had even gone out and REALLY started to let their hair down.

Needless to say, the TURKS and ShinRa's public relations team had their hands full keeping all of their antics under wraps and Lazard was NOT going to be happy with the large chunk of money that would be taken out of the SOLDIER budget to cover the cost of repairs to the various establishments that put in complaints about damage done by the drunk General and his subordinates.

The next morning was one full of grunts and moans and mumbled replies and complaints, all set to the backdrop of the sound of a constantly running shower and a steady flow of cursing coming from the bathroom.

Zack had gone back to his own apartment the night before. Apparently, he wriggled too much in his sleep and knew the others would have kicked him out of bed anyway if he had stayed with them.  
He had learned early on that it was just easier to go home at the end of the night instead of waking up on the couch with a cramp in his neck, a kink in his back and three First Class SOLDIERS pissed off at him for disturbing their sleep for the majority of the night.  
Plus, Zack seemed to have a natural tolerance to the after-effects of alcohol and was always perky and awake early the next morning. Something which didn't sit well with his hungover and half-dead friends, usually.

So he had gotten up at his usual early hour, went down to the local deli and grabbed some fresh ground coffee beans (because he knew the coffee grinder going first thing that morning would be a death sentence), four dozen eggs, four pounds of bacon and various other ingredients that would equate to enough food to feed a small town.

When he got back he was curious about the noises coming from the bathroom, but he went straight to work in the kitchen cooking them all a huge greasy breakfast.

When it was all cooked there was a mountain of sausages, bacon, fried tomatoes, eggs, Pancakes, buttered toast and Hash browns divided between four UFO sized plates and on the table between them was all of the condiments which included maple syrup, chocolate syrup, BBQ sauce, hot sauce and ketchup. There was also a pot (closer to the size of a barrel) of strong fresh coffee and a large jug of fresh-squeezed orange juice.

The smell of the coffee had dragged Genesis from the bedroom. He had practically sculled the whole pot and was already making a second by the time the smell of food had grabbed hold of Angeal's rumbling stomach and forced him out of bed.

He sat down at the table with a grunt of greeting for his puppy before shoveling food into his wide-open mouth until his cheeks were bulging, then chewing a few times before swallowing the whole lot and repeating the process.

Genesis put the second pot back in the middle of the table before pouring himself a large mug and sitting down to start eating his breakfast in a more civilized manner. Though the food seemed to be disappearing just as fast.

Zack sat quietly watching them as he attacked his own mountain. Mornings after a night out were probably one of the only times he was quiet.

He had learned that his friends' patience was pretty much at its limit while hungover and it took only a few wrong words to throw any of them over the edge.

It was not a fun place to be on the receiving end of punishment when they were in that mood.

He frowned when after 10 minutes Sephiroth was still cursing in the shower and he couldn't help but ask the others if they knew what was wrong.

Angeal merely shrugged and grunted without pausing his food shoveling.

Genesis, on the other hand, gave an evil little chuckle "Apparently our dear General really should have listened to you when you told him the food didn't look right at that Gongagan food-stall in sector Seven last night. He's been in the shower for about an hour washing his hair!"

Zack cringed "I guess that is a hazard of having the long hair. You get sick, then you're gonna be washing chuck outta your hair all morning."

Despite the pain it clearly caused him, Genesis burst out laughing and couldn't seem to stop.

Zack stared at him wondering what was so funny, before looking up as the Silver General walked out of the bathroom with a disgusted look on his face and for the first time Zack had ever seen, his wet hair clipped up high on his head.

He shot a glare at the laughing redhead, which only set off a new waterfall of uncontrollable laughter as tears formed at the corners of his eyes.

Sephiroth huffed indignantly before spotting the food and turning pale. He closed his eyes tight and swallowed.

It looked like he had gained control of himself before a piece of hair fell out of the large bundle on top of his head and brushed his shoulder. He shuddered and cringed before fleeing back to the bathroom with an abrupt "Not hungry. Need to wash my hair." as the only explanation.

Genesis sat there catching his breath with a slightly pitying look on his face as they stared at the now-closed bathroom door. Even Angeal had stopped his eating to stare after the general with concern, before turning to his redheaded friend questioningly.

Genesis sighed deeply before going back to having small bites of his food. He looked up at the two dark-haired men staring at him before shrugging and said casually "Let's just say that it wasn't vomit in his hair." When all he got was blank, confused looks he sighed again before elaborating "He's had a rather 'shitty' morning and he was apparently still a little too drunk and uncoordinated to get his hair out of the way before sitting down and.... well, let's just say it's gonna take a Hazmat team to clean the toilet!"

Angeal paled and dropped his knife and fork onto his plate before pushing it away from himself and getting up "Thank you for breakfast Zack, but I think I need to go lay down now." He disappeared into the bedroom as Zack sat there with a stunned and somewhat disgusted look on his face and his fork poised halfway between his plate and his mouth.

Genesis went back to slowly eating his food while watching the younger man in amusement.

The spikey-haired second sat like that for about 2 minutes before slowly bringing the fork the rest of the way to his mouth and slowly chewing the food. He swallowed it down then gave the redhead a sidelong look "I'm never gonna be able to look at his hair the same way again!"

Genesis chuckled "Indeed," before shaking his head as he reached over to start dividing Sephiroth's food between himself and the younger man. It wasn't like he was going to eat it anyway.

Zack happily accepted the extra food and they sat there silently eating.

They were nearly finished before Sephiroth finally came out of the bathroom and went straight to the bedroom without even glancing at the two SOLDIERs sitting at the table trying not to even smile let alone laugh.

After he closed the door Zack finally grinned at the other man "You know, with hair that light, I just hope it didn't stain."

Genesis choked on a mouthful of coffee before frowning at the younger man "That... was a really shit joke Zack Fair!" His mock stern voice was completely ruined by the laughter that kept bubbling up.

Zack couldn't hold it in anymore and was laughing so hard he was having trouble breathing. He managed to gasp out "I'm sorry sir. Didn't mean to give you the shits."

Genesis broke again as he watched Zack fall out of his chair "You really should be ashamed of yourself, making such crap jokes about the General!"

Tears had started pouring by the time Zack managed to say "Let's hope Seph's hair doesn't stink as bad as my sense of humor!"

By the time the General came out fully dressed to find the two men rolling on the floor laughing, even his angriest look couldn't make them stop. It wasn't until a slow smirk spread across his face that the two men's laughter started to die down into nervous coughs as they realized he had thought of some way to get them back for laughing at his misfortune and humiliation.

Unfortunately, the terror his smirk caused was short-lived as a distinctive gurgling, bubbling sound came from the Silver-haired man's lower abdomen and he quickly dashed to the toilet, followed by a chorus of laughter after Genesis called out "Do you need a hair tie?"

Hell, he was gonna make them pay either way now. They may as well enjoy it!


End file.
